A “How to” Guide to Finding Yourself

This morning I was going through my poems in search of something and found this poem.  It’s one I wrote sometime ago, and thought it might be helpful for you in understanding a little about the “how to” of spiritual ascension–of self-discovery.

Mosaic Woman Structure

There’s no way to tell you

What I’m feeling inside

Hard to spread out truth

Where so much error lies

 

We tend to get angry

Distant

Protective

When we only have peeks at

The vast, wide perspective

 

How can I give you

What’s still in slow progress—

Simmering

Stirring

Beneath a steeled surface

 

I’m afraid you can’t see me

Misinterpret my motives

Scared you’re repulsed by

My scarcely lit votives

 

Sometimes I’m impatient

Empty and maxed

Others I’m fearful

Overwhelmed

Even taxed

 

A mixture of emotion

Melting pot of expression

Trying to make it

In the wake of destruction

 

I don’t expect anything

Not words, mercy, soothing

Not seeking adornment

Or a lengthy, long meeting

 

I’m not asking for

Acceptance

Approval

Affection

Just that you feel this

These words I’m attempting

 

Life can be difficult

Confusing

And raw

Our wounds can be triggered

Till there’s no love at all

 

Why I’m now a deep fisher

My line sunk into

The whole of my being

Seeking her, me, she

You—

 

The girl that was shattered

A child black and blue

Adolescent disaster

Reckless teen on the loose

 

With time and attention

I will find all the pieces

Reel them in

Rearranging

With care and adhesive

 

Until the sum total

Of parts melds into

Mosaic Woman Sculpture

The real me that’s true.

Published by

Phoenix Inspiring

Twelve years ago, my life was heading in a very different direction. I was directing a dance and gymnastics program that I built from the ground up which I was highly passionate about. Had my daughter not been diagnosed with autism, I would likely still be pursuing this career today. Because she was diagnosed with autism, my life has been forever changed. Along my parenting autism journey, I was gifted with what I came to understand as a spiritual awakening. It wasn’t something I went looking for, rather something that happened, and as a result, has endowed me with a wealth of knowledge and insights that I feel inspired to share with others.

18 thoughts on “A “How to” Guide to Finding Yourself”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s